Finding My Why
Photo Courtesy Of Laura Tomlinson
Life is complicated. So why in the world do we sometimes go out of our way to make things harder on ourselves? Survival is difficult enough. Employment. Education. Coordinating schedules. Planning meals. Maintaining relationships. Trying to improve or preserve your health. There always seem to be more tasks to accomplish than there is day in which to accomplish them. Tomorrow begins with us feeling tired and like we need to work harder to catch up. We work harder and harder but continue to feel more and more behind.
What follows is the inevitable rut. We put our blinders on. We put our heads down. We keep trudging along, but nothing ever changes. It gets worse. We realize that we want more but we aren’t always sure how to get it. Bound. Trapped. Caged. Enslaved. Confused. Why do we feel this way? Whose fault is the situation that we have found ourselves in? There must be someone to blame, right?
We realize that something is wrong. We know that we need change. Unfortunately, there can be a disconnect between coming to this realization and having the capacity to make the best decisions in the moment. We may not be seeing things clearly. Fatigue. Exhaustion. Imbalance. Frustration. Out of control. Anger. Indignation. Hostility.
It’s my spouse’s fault. I would feel more free if it wasn’t for all of my family obligations. Why is it that we have so many kids? Isn’t all of this really my parents’ fault? Why has God has forsaken me?
Our thought processes are deranged and bad decisions ensue. Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Addiction. Marital strife. Affairs. Messed up kids. Family splits. Hasty decisions. Overcompensation. Overindulgence.
I didn’t go into medicine with blinders on. I had at least a rudimentary understanding of how easy it was to be swept up in the rat race and also of how easy it could be to lose everything that I have worked so hard for with bad decisions. I made it a point to set boundaries and to be proactive about preserving my family above all else, but as a surgeon, it is not an easy balance to strike. It feels like there is always someone (usually many people at the same time) who want a piece of you. Knowing how easy it was to fall into a rut hasn’t been sufficient to keep me from falling into ruts occasionally, but I found that it did (and continues to) give me the resolve to stand up and climb out before I get buried by the circumstance.
While I was in surgery residency, my wife and I realized that many of our interests and values merged into what may be referred to as modern homesteading. From the start, my career as a surgeon has sometimes been directly at odds with my calling to be a modern homesteader., but we committed to learning and improving our fledgeling homesteader skills one step at a time.
Why complicate my life by trying to merge life in two very different worlds? Because I see the value that it adds. Modern homesteading enriches the lives of me and my family. It forces me to set and maintain boundaries. It fosters teamwork and oneness between me and my wife. It provides opportunities to interact with and educate my children. It gives me a place to rest, re-center and recharge. It is my earnest hope that sharing some of my experiences will provide an opportunity to educate and encourage others trying to find a harmonious existence blending medical practice (or other professions) and modern homesteading.
Join me.
