Who Gives A F^@% What Other People Think?
Have you ever found yourself with your guts in tied in knots not because of an event that happened or a decision that you made, but because of the reaction that someone else will inevitably have to it? The derision. The scorn. The disapproval. The arrogant bitchiness. The holier-than-thou attitude. The condescension. The tension. The strife. The anger. Has the fear of the reaction ever caused you to be unable to make a decision? Have you ever made a different choice than you wanted to just so you wouldn’t have to hear about it or deal with the fallout?
Why in the world would you want to homeschool your kids when the school system will do it for free? Who in their right mind would involve their kids in farm work with dirt and animals and poop? Why would anyone raise their own food when you can just go buy it at the grocery store? Who in the hell needs to learn to knit or sew when you can buy a brand new blanket for $10? Isn’t everything you’re doing a big waste of time? Aren’t you a low down dirty bastard for not giving your kids unrestricted access to the internet and social media when “everyone else” is letting their kids? These are some examples that may be encountered by the modern homesteader, but this is an endemic dilemma that can be encountered by any person, any where, any time. People can wield a tremendous amount of power over us with their opinions and approval. But only if we let them.
Personally, I care deeply about other people. I also don’t give a f^@% what anyone thinks about me or what I’m doing. Not even a teensy weensie little f^@%. It sounds harsh, but I believe that it is conscious decision that we have to make to ensure that we live life on our own terms and without regrets. For some people this is easy. For others it takes more work. In either case, it is well worth the effort. Does this make me a sociopath? Not at all. I have empathy. I enjoy and value family and community. I am not antisocial. Most of the time. I listen to other people’s opinions. I seek out sage advice when needed. I receive and consider criticism. I just refuse to yield the authority to others to dictate my decisions and the course of my life. I do frequent self evaluations and if I ever find myself starting to give a f^@% what other people think, I retire to my torture chamber and throttle myself soundly with a cat of nine tails until I regain my perspective.
Again, I acknowledge that the concept sounds jarring. It’s not about being mean or angry or hateful. It’s not about hurting people’s feelings. It’s not about withdrawing from society or human interaction. It’s not about devaluing or belittling the opinions of others. It’s not about living a life free of restraint or morals. It’s about being the person that you were put on this earth to be in the most abundant form. It’s about making a conscious decision not to let judgmental people (or people that you perceive to be judgmental) control your life. Worrying about what other people may think is a stumbling block. Many people, without even giving it much thought, will impose their desires and values on you and berate you into conforming their wants and expectations. People you don’t know. Casual acquaintances. Close friends. Family. It’s all the same. The intentions may be good. It may not be deliberate or malicious. But the specter of disapproval looms large and can paralyze the recipient with fear. If they choose to allow it to do so. There is a choice.
The decision is yours. You can accept the shackles placed upon you by the displeasure of others or you can find the strength within yourself to say “F^@% it!”.
Afterward:
When I joined the Army, a whole new wold was opened to me. It was a crash course in life and independence. I can’t even begin to list all of the valuable lessons that I learned, but one of the most important indoctrinations that we received started day one of boot camp. The mastery of the proper usage of f-bomb. The rules? There really were none except that the f-bomb was to be used as often as possible. It could be used as literally every part of speech. Once one became accomplished in dropping at least an average of one to two f-bombs per sentence, it was time to begin taking things to the next level and refining the craft. The highest marks were given for compound f bombs and stealth f-bombs, in which it is cleverly concealed within a word. What better way to help make my point than to celebrate this majestic word.
Afterward 2:
The point that I am making is that you will never please everyone and that if you make that your goal, you are doomed to fail. I am not saying that you should walk around telling everyone that you don’t give a f^@% what they think. Even if it’s true to the very core of your being. If you do, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll get slapped or punched in the face. The point is to find your way to make the decisions that you need to make and do what you need to do without the fear of other people’s disapproval and judgement.
Now that you’ve chosen to be liberated, you should proceed with caution! If you think that it’s a good idea to express out loud to your spouse or significant other the fact that you don’t give a f^@% what they think, you may just want to slow your roll, take a deep breath and think that one through. If your relationship is healthy, your partner deserves special consideration and a more tender approach. Remember, if you make it clear to your partner that you don’t give a f^@%, at the end of the day, you might find that you don’t get a f^@% either.
